Weekend of grief, pain and friendship

Standard

What a weekend…my friend Michelle stayed with me all weekend. We watched funny movies, talked until we were blue in the face, went out to lunch and cried as we talked about Alex. Oh, and we did a photo shoot with Landon. Hope was very generous with him, and let him hang out with us quite a bit. It was helpful to talk about all my thoughts and feeling about the accident, the hospitalization and how much I miss her, etc. I usually don’t talk very much about all of it, as it is so difficult to experience the pain that comes with doing that. I know it is an important part of healing, as it needs to come out, and not just stay stuffed inside. I am very grateful for the time we had this weekend. Thank you to her family for sharing, as I know they missed her this weekend.
Eli headed back to Philomath with his Dad, so it is just Hope, Landon and I.   I always miss him when he goes to his Dads.
On Mar. 24, I will have 21 years in recovery..it doesn’t seem to mean as much without Alex here. She always made my cake and was sure  there when I would get my chip. I raised her going to mtgs., and she was wise beyond her years partly because of this. All of my kids are…I will make  my cake, and I feel good about that. It doesn’t seem right to have anyone else make it, etc.
More later…